Living a life to close to the line

WOW it has been a while since I have wrote anything… in the past 3 months alot has happened, I got married for one…

As I get older and look at things differently I remember back to when I first gave my life to God… The conviction i felt when I did something wrong. The burning feeling inside of me to want to serve God and pursue Him no matter what. I would not be distracted by stupid things such as rumors, gossip, or even my own opinions. I would just run after Him and his promises.

The past few months I have been taking a second look at my life and how I have changed. The convictions I now have compared to the ones I had just a year ago. I see I have become soft, comfortable, and laid back with my faith. As I have seen alot of my friends follow that same path. Almost acting as though it is cool to live that way.

I have been figuring out for quite some time how to write this so forgive me if I am a little all over the place.

Why are we as Christians so easy to mix things with the world with things of God. Why do christians go out and get drunk then come to church and worship? ( NOTE – I do have a drink once in a while but DO NOT get drunk) Why is it acceptable to go out and party and dance like the world then come in dressed in Holy Garments.

In the book of Matthew it says, “In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

I do not want ot be this person, nor should any Christian. There is no point in living a life so close to the line because eventually you will step over. I have at one point stepped over.

One of the things I have thought about is being a leader in our Sunday school at our church. The life I am living would i want to pass on to the younger generation. If i keep getting closer and closer to the line and share those convictions with people who are younger then they are already at a disadvantage thinking living so close to the edge is ok.

What has become of peoples faith? Why is it now so easy to live 2 separate life styles… Well for me and my family we WILL serve the Lord. We will not live a life close to the line and we WILL influence this generation in a positive way. What will you do?

Circumstances of Life do not Determine Who I Am

As I sit at my girlfriends house waiting for her to get out of work I think back over my life. A life, to say the least, was a stressful and crazy one. Most of you who read this know my story. A lot of you have walked thru the hard times with me, others yet you did not… Could not…

My life was filled with failure, depression, perversion and many things that would forever change my life. From being in a group home for 9 years to being abused many times over. At times i would think I would always be the same person, the mess up, the pervert, the failure… the one who just got by and watched as the parade of life went by.

I think now and can easily see how people can let the circumstances of their lives dictate where there lives take them. Without thinking one can lead a life of destruction and despair, just because that is the way it has always been for them.

I recently saw a person riding their bike down the street, just by looking,  you can see they were worn from life. That this person has faced many trials or had faced many disadvantages. Things I may not understand.  This person had let their circumstances  dictate where they has gone with their life.

It hurt.

It hurt to see someone who was most likely not going to go very much further in life. Someone who would be stuck in a poverty mindset, stuck in a life that just basically sucks. Could that person be me? Twenty years ago did that person think they would be where they are today? Do you think you will be alone, sad, and lost in 20 years?

Life is not easy. Even today I face things that sometimes feel overwhelming. The lust of the world, the general feeling of failure I am surrounded with, the negative talk that is promoted from every media outlet. Negativity sometimes seems to reign supreme.

Everyday we have a decision. A decision to make a difference. A decision to be better than we were the day before. Have you fallen short in life? Did you mess up? Well I have advice for you that can forever change your life… You ready?

Do not let the circumstances of your life dictate where your life will go. Rather let the circumstances of your life motivate you to be someone great.

You hear it all the time, and people always try to speak encouragement into you. When you struggle people always say something like I am sorry, or I understand.  Sometimes you feel as though they do not understand what you are going thru… this may be true… but who gives a rip!

I have faced many things, many bad things… but I look at my life today and I say thank you God. Thank you for a wonderful life, a wonderful girlfriend, a wonderful family. Marriage for me is not to far away and i think to God, wow, really me?

So take this with you today…

Was yesterday bad? Has the sin of the world overwhelmed you? has stress of family and friends made you feel like crap? Well… Look to God… Look to yourself… and take charge of your life. Be someone great. You can do it and you will do it. I did it.

 

When Something Good Happens

It has been some time since I wrote anything and I have had some stuff on my mind lately… RIght now it is 2:48 in the morning… I was sleeping and woke up just feeling happy…

I have been through alot of things in my life… bad and good… A life many might look at and say you must be full of regret… A life of hurts and pains… and a life of successes and joys…

Lately I have been pursuing someone who I am interested in… She is an amazing person who well is just a gift from God… I think to myself has everything in my life happened for a reason? The good, the bad, the ugly… has it all lined up so that I would be where I am today at this time and interested in this person and ready to handle everything that comes with it?

Some may say well God has turned around the bad things that have happened in your life for his glory… This I do think is awesome and what I have believed for a long time. But what if, everything we face… the Good things, the band things are so perfectly orchestrated in our lives so that if we walk in His will we would have everything he desires for us to have?

Not to say God made me get abused growing up… but could you believe everything happens for a reason? I have been through enough in my life to be able to write a book ( soon will) and everything that has happened has made me into the person I am today. I still am being fine tuned, and still have kinks to be worked out… but how dare I say I regret anything happening to me when now, I have met someone so awesome, so amazing, so loving that if anything in my life had been different maybe we would not have met?

Is all the pain I have gone through worth being with someone I will love forever? What if God came down and said I will take away 3 regrets in your life, however where you are at in life now will not be the same. Would you be willing to give up everything you have in order to ” right a few wrongs”? Think about this when trouble comes your way… is this trouble just a time you will go through that will bring great happiness?

Focus on God, live your life the best you can, and do not regret the things that have made you into the person you are today. Let the things you have gone thru yesterday better the person you will be tomorrow. Let the shortcomings, failures, and mistakes be a learning tool so that you will not go thru them again, but will be able to overcome them. Learn to rely on God and not put your trust in past experiences, even when it is hard, and thinks seem bleak, remember He is there, remember He loves you, remember He has died for you, remember Jesus doesn’t not have regrets, whys should we?

” You can take the world, Just give me you”

Lately I have been listening to this song by Tim Hughes. One of the lines in it is ” You can take the word, Just give me you”. This needs to be our hearts cry and as of late has become mine. This line has been permeating my spirit. I see the world and the things it has to offer, even as a christian, and none of that matters without Him. None of these things can quench what my soul is crying out for.

I have many desires in my heart and my life. Things I want to see, do, and become. However these lay by the side when compared to God and how much I just want him. I dont care If I ever get married ( i do want to!), I dont care how much money I will have, all that matters is that I have Him in my life. 

Side Bar
Now dont take this out of context and stop working, stop eatting and sit in your room and say I want God and God alone. Hear my heart in this. It is saying that nothing else matters… how good or bad things may be, nothing matters but being in His presence. 

There is another line of the song that says, The world is not enough for me. I love this line. As I read and as i pray and worship and get closer to God, the things of the world seem not to matter, and the things the world has to offer is not enough. There is a deeper cry, a deeper craving in my spirit, in my heart, for something more. It is something that this world can not offer me. Its fellowship with Him. 

I have come to a point in my life… long waiting.. where I have truly felt this desire and craving in my life. I use to ask myself how will I overcome this or that. Well when you experience this…this…. this total abandonment to God, you begin to have new hope and new confidence, and even though you will go thru tough times, and you will go thru things that may seem insurmountable, you know that you WILL get thru it. You know that you have stepped into a new grace..a new freedom..a new chapter in your life where you can reach the things you thought you never could. Where the impossible becomes possible, and you begin to walk into the life God has for you. 

If you are having a hard time in life. Things seem to weigh you down and overwhelm you, I want you to begin to ask God for help. Not just saying please help me Amen… But pray to God that you dont want to be in the same spot going thru the same things… that you want to truly experience the presence of God… that you want your life turned upside down… He will do it.

Just Praying is for Lazy People

I like that title. I figured it would get a lot of attention. First let me say Prayer is an absolute necessity. God answers prayer and I have no doubt in that. 

I learned a very important lesson in my life and that was just because you pray doesn’t mean thats all you have to do. When I pray for a certain situation I have something I like to say. I pray, God bring the super- to the – natural. What this means is that if I push and do what I am suppose to do in the natural, that I believe God will come down and bring the super!

Sometimes people just pray and sit back and wait for God to answer. As if God is a genie just waiting to grant our wishes.
I really want to see miracles and all that good stuff. I want to see God break thru in ways that I havent even thought about. 

What about this situation. Someone comes up to you and says “hey can you keep me in prayer”… you say yes and walk away…. WHY DONT YOU PRAY THERE! This is something I have been challenged with personally. I always would say yes of course I will… And you know what sometimes things come up and I forget! You…We need to take action and do the natural so that we can see God bring the supernatural!! What if that is all that is holding back the biggest and greatest move of God in history! What is the thing you have been praying for is right on the thresh hold of being answered.. but God wants you to take action!

One testimony. At work this month I was believing God for a breakthrough. I was praying for new clients and new business. I like to consider myself a hard worker, but this month i pushed harder then I have ever pushed and just pressed in. God came down and blessed me in such a way, that I made more this month then I have ever made in a month in my entire life! Now you may say that is just because you worked harder… Well in part yes.. but there were clients who came to me and spent money with me who i didnt really think would. When you in a career, you know the way business is. You know the ups and the downs and you know when something out of the ordinary happens. I know God came down and brought the super to my natural. 

I say all of that to get to this. We need to take action as christians. Not jut sit back and pray and hope something happens. We need to rise up and be the men and woman of God were called to be. Is someone sick around you, dont say you will keep them in your prayers but take action! Are you believing God to do something great? What will you do?

Walking Out Your Breakthrough

 

Many times in the church people experience a life altering encounter with God. Their life gets changed, turned upside down and they are a different person. Maybe an addiction or thought pattern or sin kept them down for years. They have had people pray for them, and even cried out to God themselves. However when they left church they had the same issues.

 

I believe that tonight God did some amazing things in prayer. Lives were transformed. People received a breakthrough.

 

However living a certain way for so long, or dealing with an issue for a long time, we seem to learn to live with it, as if it became part of who we are.

 

Picture if you would with me…

 

A truck drives in circles over and over and over again. Eventually there are tracks formed, and a little bit longer you may not even need to steer just because the path and ground work has been put in place. You can look down at the person and say ” hey just turn the wheel and drive out of there”, but because he is either, scared, comfortable or just doesnt believe it, he wont turn the wheel and will just stay in that circle. He knows for a moment he can get out if he wants, but then worry or fear or whatever sets in.

 

This is alot like people. You can go to church with all your hurts, paints and struggles. You say you want to be free, you go and get prayed for and the leave the same way you came. You leave thinking your still the same person. Maybe you scared to change anything, or you just think its to hard and not worth the fight. So you leave and end up right where you always been. Sometimes its so apart of us, our behavior we just automatically go get to that person. GET OFF OF AUTOPILOT!!!!!!!

 

Do I think people deliberately want to stay in the place where they are? Some maybe, but a majority are being held back because they are not walking out their breakthrough. Hear me… They experience it, but leave it at that and never walk it out. You can experience something, but thats just for a time, but when you walk it out you take ownership of that.

 

You need to declare it! The bible says, Who the Son sets free is free indeed! You need to declare that you are no longer the same person. You need to believe that God can and has changed you. Let go of those insecurities and grab a hold of God. BELIEVE YOU ARE FREE, DECLARE YOU ARE FREE, AND BE FREE!

 

As we are approaching the Generation Conference, I believe God is gong to do hugeeeee things. However is it just going to be an experience for you, or is going to be life altering-destiny driving-though breaking-turned you upside down type of thing? Walk it out its yours for the taking

 

A final Goodbye

Well this is a hard one this year. As most of you probably know my step father passed away in December. Last weekend we had the burial ceremony. So its obvious on everyones mind. Usually for fathers day I would write him a note saying how Blessed me and my mom are to have him and how much he has meant to me. Well this year I cant do it, and thru tears and tiredness I write this last letter to my stepdad.

Gary, no words can convey how thankful I was for you. You came into my moms life at a time when it was rough. You helped taken a broken family and put it together. Some of the happiest times I remember my mom is when she was with you. You came into my life as a stepfather, but acted more like a dad. I know I dont always express it but I love you and thank God that my mom had found someone so great. Thank you Gary for being a part of my life and my moms life. Thank you for loving my mom and being there for her. Thru the good times and bad you were there. You took her places she has never been. Things she has experienced in her life she would never have if it wasnt for you. Thank you. I miss you and love you. Happy Final Fathers Day Gary. 

This is a hard time. Remembering how awesome he was makes me happy and feel blessed, but makes me sad knowing he is gone…I take joy in the fact he is with Jesus though.

A story

So one time there was this Christian names Freddy… Freddy was a pretty good guy. Did he have issues? Yes of course. Freddys biggest problem was how he complained about everything. one of his main issues was saying tings were not the same anymore. That prayer wasnt good, worship wasnt the same and that the church neded to step it up. So he went on with his life with this atitude. One day he had church and he got there a little bit early. So before service at his church they usuallly had some sort of prayer before service… He would never go, he already knew how much it lacked the presence of God and that it was a waste of time. This time though he thoguht he would go, he had some personal struggles and was at a spot where he needed God to do soemthing. So Freddy stepped into the prayer room and to hs astonishment people were praying. Not just Lord bless me prayers, but world shaker prayers. prayers that would wake God from the deepest slumber if he was to sleep. Prayers of old which he compared everything to. Then suddenly he had a revelation. That the church had moved on without him. While he was stuck in sin, and doubt, and different issues the spirit of God had been moving. He hadnt taken time to listen to God or see what God was doing. He realized he was so far away from what God was doing that he could not see how powerfully he was moving. Freddy realized that God had been doing amazing things, but becasue he got caught up in himself, an life his spirtual eyes had been blinded. He repented in his heart that night and gave his life back over to God… For Good…. 

Are you a Freddy? Dont miss out on what God is doing, dont be blinded by your own arrogance, and your own thought of how everything should be. Open your eyes to what God is doing and get involved in it.

What God spoke to me #1

I am currently reading Too Busy Not to Pray by Bill Hybels. Have you ever started reading a book and their was a scripture reference and you got something out of it that really doesn’t go along with the book? Kinda here….

Leviticus 26v3-4, 6
If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit. 6 I will give you peace in the land and you will be able to sleep with no cause for fear…

In my own life as well as others I have heard people say I cant wait for breakthrough, or “when will i see more people get saved”, “Or when will I be blessed?” I think one of the key answer to this question is the first part of this verse, ” IF YOU FOLLOW MY DECREES AND ARE CAREFUL TO OBEY MY COMMANDS”, Do you spend all your time asking other people to pray for you? Do you sit around and complain that you need a breakthrough? Do you go out and sin all week then bring your butt to church and have a leader pray for you and expect the blessings to just flow? At times, you will face situations where you will need your friends to pray for you and need them to come by your side. However what are YOU doing for your breakthrough, what are you doing that you deserve to see the Rain of God come into your life? Do we receive the blessings of God because we didn’t swear for a week, or we didn’t go out and commit some horrible crime? Well i am no theologian… but I don’t see this bringing the blessings of God ( However this behavior probably wont be going on if your doing it right =) ) 
I believe as Christians we need to take responsibility for our breakthrough and not ride on the wave of everone else praying. If your riding on the wave and not making any of your own, eventually you will drown. God loves us so much and cant wait to bless us… and its so simple.
That verse goes on to say “I will send rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit. 6 I will give you peace in the land and you will be able to sleep with no cause for fear… As christians we need to obey God all the time and live like the Word of God tells us to live. Not just on sundays and wednesdays or whenever you have church. When we begin to obey God and live according to the word thats when the blessings will come and the rain of God will come into your life.
I want to end this note with encouraging you to get your breakthrough. You press into God and ask for what you need. I could go to Thomas and have him pray for me and maybe feel a little bit better, but until i get on my knees and in the face of God i will not have my breakthrough. I will not experience the true presence of God unless i ask him for is. 

Last note… Living off the breakthrough of someone elses life is like a child borrowing a toy from a friend, eventually he will have to give it back and he will no longer have it… If it were his toy, he would have possession of it and it would be his and his alone and only he would appreciate the true awesomeness of that toy.

Perception Is Reality and Reality is False

So… This whole perception is reality thing I agree with. However it also bothers me. Everybody as a story, somewhere they came from. It might be the guy who comes to church who was use to drink all the time, or whoever it may be. Your driving down the street and you see him walk out of a bar… Chances are your going to think man hes drinking again. Fair assumption? I suppose. However it is not fair to that person. Should you make sure? Of course thats not that point. hen do we reach the point in life where we can just be ” normal” without people assuming the worst? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, however I would still make sure they are ok. What gets me going is when there is someone trying to be nice or do something good, and they are oblivious to anything negative, and just trying to get along and be nice and instantly they assume the worst. I have to admit I am also guilty of this… What is it in out nature that almost wanted to assume the worst? We may say oh no of course not… but deep inside do we crave that drama and just hope you can be right? Who knows. I wish i could go back to the people who I have wrongly accused and apologize, but I cannot, all I can do is not continue to assume the worst in people. I want to encourage those of you who might be in place where they feel as thought they cant do anything right, and tell you to focus on God… Sounds cliche, but sometimes we need to not think about everyone else and just focus on him… Maybe be more sensitive to the situations we put ourselves in. Maybe totally innocent to us, but before you do or say something think quick how this can be perceived by others… May suck right then, because you cant do something fun or nice, but in the long run it will benefit both. Heres a little ummm… not a poem but a little thing that I have been thinking…

I will do great things…I wont give in to fear or hurt but I will do great things…I wont be discouraged by the words or actions of others because I will do great things…I sway to the left and the right, and swagger in my feelings…But I will do great things…I will do great things..I will do great things in God.